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Love and Successful Marriage - part 2

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Articles In This Section:

· Love and Successful Marriage - part 1

· Love and Successful Marriage - part 2

· 1. How well do you understand the fictions and facts about love? - part 1

· 1. How well do you understand the fictions and facts about love? - part 2

· 1. How well do you understand the fictions and facts about love? - part 3

· 2. How eager are you "just to get married?"

· 3. Does the other remind you strongly of some dear relative or friend whom you once loved?

· 4. Is your home or work situation unhappy?

· 5. Were you ever engaged before?

· 6. Is anyone putting undue pressure on you to marry?

· 7. How much has sex desire influenced your choice?

· 8. How much have you been swayed by "minor point" attractions?

· 9. How well do you know each other?

· 10. How strong are your interests in common?

· 12. Do you have common interests in actively promoting "worthy causes?"

· 13. Are you actively related to some organization or group interested in making the world a better place?

· 14. How about children?

· In Summary

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Today we know better. The physician who treats you, the dentist who fixes your teeth, the druggist who makes up your prescriptions, even the beauty parlor operator who sets your hair—all must be trained and pass an examination before they are granted a license. We are coming to see that marriage, also, is a serious vocation which requires trained competence for success. If you must have specialized training in order to raise corn and hogs successfully, how much more should you know in order to be successful parents! Judge John A. Sbarbaro in his book, Marriage is on Trial (Macmillan, 1947), urges that all couples be required to complete a course in premarital training before they are granted a license to wed. He suggests the inclusion of a study of the economic problems of the family, fundamentals of child psychology, sexual relationships, "in-laws," the effects of broken homes upon children, and the responsibilities and opportunities of the church and similar agencies in the strengthening of family life. A divorce court judge sees every day that good intentions are not enough! There must be technical, scientific knowledge.

Such scientific understanding is especially important and difficult regarding the whole matter of love. Through the years there has grown up in our culture, a whole system of beliefs about love. Some contain much truth. Others are partly true. Some of those held most strongly are basically false. One reason why marriages fail is our inability to tell the difference between the fictions and the facts of love. Hence our first question. The discussion which follows will begin with the fictions, and proceed to the facts about love.

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