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11. How similar are your ideals, values, and goals in life?
- part 1
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How important is financial success? Is either of you a social climber? Everybody expected that Frank and Annie would get married, including the couple themselves. In fact, when Frank called that night he intended definitely to "pop the question." Annie knew this, and it was her eagerness to help Frank out which skidded the whole proposition into the ditch, which was probably a good thing.
Both Frank and Annie were working people. She had finished high school with some difficulty. He had quit after two years, and taken a job at a local garage. He was a good mechanic, and happy to remain so. Basically he was a fine boy, honest, reliable, and good-natured. His wants were few. He enjoyed an occasional beer and cigar, and liked ball games and fishing. He wanted a family, preferably with Annie, and enough money to support them according to his simple standards. Beyond this his ambitions did not go. He had no desire to appear intellectual, or to get ahead.
Not so with Annie. She had ambitions for them both. As Frank began his warm-up speech, she became impatient and took over. Frank was really a great man. He must finish high school. Then, by moving to a large city, he could attend engineering school at night. He was to become not an ordinary engineer, but a great engineer. Then they would have lots of money and live in a big house on a hill and move in the best social circles. Yes, the right kind of wife could make something of him.
After this glowing picture Frank looked puzzled. Then he gulped, walked over to the piano, picked up his hat and said, "Good night Annie. See ya later." Despite her entreaties he walked out, not to return. Academically, Frank was not bright. Mathematics were to him an unsolved mystery. But he did have a kind of basic insight which saved him from what might have been a sad mistake. As he himself put it, "All of a sudden I saw what I was getting into. I didn't want it. What could be worse than spending years of your life struggling and fighting for what you don't want?"
Later he turned his attentions to another girl who was less ambitious and married her. He was fortunate because he was wiser than most Americans regarding the relationship of making money to success.
In our culture, money has two important purposes; to provide us with the material things of life and to give us status and power. The first we understand quite well. Money is a means of getting what we need and want, such as food, clothing, housing, and medical attention. It is also something more. It is a way in which some people can gain a sense of being superior to other people; by wearing clothes, living in costly homes, and operating cars which the ordinary man cannot afford. In short, it is a measure of success.
Related terms include marriage certificate and wedding accessories.
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