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Love and Successful Marriage - part 1
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Make your marriage a success instead of a divorce statistic. Judged by the rising tide of divorce statistics, it has become increasingly difficult for a young couple to make a success of their marriage. But if you understand the causes for failure and the essentials for success, you need not end up among the failure statistics. Your marriage can be a success.
One reason for failure is the tendency of people to take marriage for granted, like steam heat and hamburger stands. Marriage to them is just something you do, like wearing shoes, getting your hair cut, or brushing your teeth. As such, it does not seem to call for any special training or understanding. Whatever knowledge and skills you may need you can pick up, just as you learned to walk, or get on and off the bus. "Doin' what comes natcherly" seems to be enough.
Another reason for failure is the tendency to regard marriage as a guest does a prolonged party. At a party you may have to do a little work as a guest, like getting out the bridge tables and rolling back the rug. But mainly it is an occasion for fun which requires little effort and no especial effort or competence. And so people expect marriage to be like that! Isn't it swell? After you marry you have ready social and sexual access to one you love, without having to worry about competition, or what the neighbors will say. In addition to all this heaven, you will, according to the advertisements, have a gleaming modern kitchen. You will have a charming living room, ornamented later on by neatly dressed, attractive, and well-behaved children to whom you will come home. You will have all the things so vividly pictured in your dreams.
This picture is not so much false as incomplete. Marriage is lots of fun. But it is a party in which you are host as well as guest. Therefore it is work. It can mean what seems to be an endless round of dishes and diapers. It means bills, worries, and sometimes burdensome debts. If the relationship between husband and wife is to continue rich and worthful, and if their children are to have attractive personalities, marriage means hard work and almost saintly forbearance. People who come to marriage as to a party, expecting loads of pleasure at little cost, are likely to feel cheated. If your marriage is to become a success, rather than a divorce statistic, you must put real effort into it. Yet effort alone will not be enough. You must know what to do, and what not to do, and have the skills which are necessary for success.
Intelligent understanding as an essential to success in marriage. Many people still fail to appreciate the importance of sound knowledge for marital success. This attitude is not new. In earlier times they regarded special training as unnecessary in many areas where we now know that it is essential. The village blacksmith once was the dentist. He did not need any special training. All he needed was what he already had—strength and forceps. The barber was the surgeon, as his striped pole still reminds us. The idea that anybody needed anything except "experience" and a few "tips" to be a farmer would have seemed ridiculous.
Related terms include love sayings and wedding bands.
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