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1. How well do you understand the fictions and facts about love?
- part 1
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Most Americans take it for granted that love is the one thing which really counts in choosing a life partner. "Do I love him?" or, "Do I love her enough?" Many young people believe that the answer to these questions should settle the matter of marriage. Bill might make a far better husband, but if Jill loves Jack more than she loves Bill, she will marry Jack.
In many other cultures, and at other times and places, the idea of what is most important in marriage has been quite different. Before we assume that our ideas are correct, or even better, we should ask ourselves how we have come by them.
So far as we as individuals are concerned, the answer is not difficult. We believe that love is the crucial matter in marriage because this idea has been drilled into us from childhood. Our movies are partly responsible; most plots are so organized in moving pictures. For example, parents who object to the love choices of their children are made to appear selfish and wrong. Such considerations as differences in family or social position are made to seem unimportant. When young people defy their parents or their traditions and marry for love, we applaud. The picture has been so produced as to make us feel that we should. It might have been so developed as to give the opposite impression.
The novels and stories which most of us read present the same general point of view. The girl is sometimes represented as engaged to some nice, respectable person whom she does not love. So that we will not like him, he is portrayed as intolerably stuffy. Therefore when she runs off and marries the man she really loves, often at the very last minute, we feel that she has done the right thing. The general idea often is that a husband should be someone glamorous and exciting.
Advertisements help to hammer the same idea home. In the soap operas, love and happiness are presented as the only things in marriage which are worth while. Many other ads play up the same idea. Love and glamour—these are the important considerations, so we are told.
Of course the movies, stories, and ads present this point of view because it is in line with what we already believe, and want to keep on believing. Back of it all is the very powerful force of public opinion. The fiction is accepted because that is the way marriage choices seem to work out in real life. For example, there was Cousin Gussie. All the family thought that her marriage was a mistake. But when she explained that he was the man she loved, that seemed to settle the question for everyone. Our friends have made what have seemed to others very peculiar choices. But we all seemed to feel that if they were really in love, there was nothing else for them to do.
Related terms include communicator engaged guide public speaking and wedding songs.
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