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5. Were you ever engaged before?

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Articles In This Section:

· Love and Successful Marriage - part 1

· Love and Successful Marriage - part 2

· 1. How well do you understand the fictions and facts about love? - part 1

· 1. How well do you understand the fictions and facts about love? - part 2

· 1. How well do you understand the fictions and facts about love? - part 3

· 2. How eager are you "just to get married?"

· 3. Does the other remind you strongly of some dear relative or friend whom you once loved?

· 4. Is your home or work situation unhappy?

· 5. Were you ever engaged before?

· 6. Is anyone putting undue pressure on you to marry?

· 7. How much has sex desire influenced your choice?

· 8. How much have you been swayed by "minor point" attractions?

· 9. How well do you know each other?

· 10. How strong are your interests in common?

· 12. Do you have common interests in actively promoting "worthy causes?"

· 13. Are you actively related to some organization or group interested in making the world a better place?

· 14. How about children?

· In Summary

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How many times, and how recently? Have you suffered any bitterness or humiliation? Life often brings difficult and sometimes humiliating experiences. We are rejected by our crowd. We break with our own family. We lose our job. Other events come which make us discouraged, embittered, or frightened. In such times it is quite natural for us to want the love and security which a good marriage can bring. The emphasis here should be on a good marriage. The danger is that we feel that almost any marriage will bring us the support we wish, and act hastily and unwisely. Remember, marriage is not a hospital, or even a convalescent home. It brings not only additional joys, but also additional burdens. If you have been badly hurt, wait until you have recovered before taking on its responsibilities.

Be especially careful if you have recently been disappointed in a previous love affair. It is a difficult experience to be jilted, especially after we have been "all set." We may want desperately to "show our friends," and to reassure ourselves. If your engagement has but recently been broken, wait until the hurt has had time to heal fully before you commit yourself again. Or, if you are suddenly urged to rush into marriage by someone who has but recently been jilted, review the situation with especial care. Make sure that he wants you, rather than just anybody who will marry him. Beware of the person who has been engaged several times. There is probably something which needs to be straightened out before marriage should be attempted. You may want to get expert counseling in such a case.

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