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8. How much have you been swayed by "minor point" attractions?
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In all areas of life, people often choose upon the basis of what is relatively unimportant. In selecting a second-hand car, for example, they may choose one which has serious defects just because they like the looks of the dash, or the color of the upholstery, or the general lines. One couple even bought a house in the country because of such minor point attractions. In the moonlight, when they saw it first, it seemed the most beautifully picturesque place they could imagine. Outside was the Old Oaken Bucket hanging in the well. Inside, a huge fireplace took up one end of a large living room, through the walls of which the moon made charming patterns on the floor. Even the sag in the roof gave an appearance of stalwart patience which they felt belonged to the house. They were as eager to buy it as the agent was to sell. Then they moved in.
They had not expected perfection, but. . . . The lovely fireplace smoked so much as to be almost unusable, yet was the only means of heating the place. Through the holes which had admitted the moonlight also came the rain and cold and snow. The romantic Old Oaken Bucket weighed a ton, and there seemed no way of emptying it without spilling water all over yourself, and it was the only source of water. By December they could no longer stand it and moved out, which was fortunate. In January the patience of the sagging roof was no longer stalwart, and the whole thing caved in.
"You're lovely to look at, delightful to know, and heaven to kiss." So ran a popular song. A combination like this is certainly desirable. As with a car or a house, nice lines and a good paint job are all to the good. So also is that lock of curly hair, the charming smile, the way her cute little nose wrinkles when she laughs, and those alluring eyes. But if you allow such minor points to determine your choice, you may, like the couple who bought the charming house, come to grief.
The belief that marriage is a prolonged party may cause us to choose the one with whom we can have the most fun. "I have such a good time with Jim on a date." "Fred is so jolly and so exciting." "Doris is so sparkling and vivacious on a picnic." "Marian is such a charming hostess." And so the list goes. All such qualities are desirable and can add much to a marriage. But they are not enough. If we are employing a girl as a stenographer, it is nice if she can select drapes and arrange flowers tastefully. But the important consideration is her shorthand and typing. So it is with a marriage partner. Many people who are delightful dates at a dance, or fine companions for a summer vacation are not at all suitable for the long pull of marriage.
In your choice, then, make sure that you are not influenced too much by minor point attractions. How will she be to live with? How well will he wear, year after year? Will you have to carry her when the going gets tough, or will she come through when you are under your greatest pressures? Such are the important considerations in choosing a mate.
Related terms include california marriage record and marriage counselling.
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